Teens spring break 2012
Posted on 26 March 2012 | No responses
Last week our son’s college was out for Spring break and he came home. He and his girlfriend and his friend. The house was full with three 19 year olds. As the week progressed four of their other friends drove down from Washington. We then had another body in our living room a few nights. These kids are serious night owls and most nights they went to bed at 3 and 4am. The living room looked like a sea of dead bodies when I left for work each day.
It was nice to have my child close by and under the same roof. Having an ‘adult’ child is such a different dynamic as a parent. I have such respect for my son and hold him in a high regard. Over the past two years I have learned to ‘let go’ of things I cannot control while he is away at college. You know, all the silly mom worries…is he safe, is he getting enough sleep, is staying warm when it snows..on and on. But, running that tape through my head does not produce anything good. Being that I am no longer a crazy person riddled with worry, it has allowed me to interact differently with my son when we talk on the phone, and face to face. The ‘kids’ as I will often refer to them had a fun spring break. Two of their friends had never been to L.A. so that in itself was fun for them. They all went to their first ‘nightclub’ in Hollywood. In fact, they went twice. I’m actually glad we had a house full, it kept my son busy and out of the house instead of succumbing to video games 24/7 (he did manage to squeeze in some quality gaming time too). Movies, nightclubs, Disneyland and about a 1000 restaurants…. it was a week of fun & silliness for the teens. So, back to the empty quietness of a ‘no kid’ household. Oh wait, it’s not that quiet… the bass has turned up and the walls are vibrating again..at least I have Madonna’s new album to fill the silence.
Delayed Empty Nest?
Posted on 8 September 2011 | 1 response
One year ago we took our only child to out of state college and bid him a proud farewell. I talked about my experience then, if you would like to read, click here. Is it possible to have delayed empty nest syndrome? Today, I sent him off and literally feel sick. It began last evening after dinner. Helping him pack his bags, my stomach started to feel real queasy. I actually thought I might vomit.
The ‘empty’ nest isn’t so empty after all!
Posted on 15 February 2011 | No responses
It’s almost been 6 months since my one and only child, an amazing boy (err young man) flew the coup to college. I have to say that I anticipated more stress and sorrow than I’ve actually experienced. It’s actually weird. I had one moment of sadness for a few days but that’s it. It helps to have friends, hobbies and a business that you love. I have consciously filled my schedule with things that I love to do and I take joy in. It also helps to have an amazing marriage. My husband and I have spent time together goofing off, going to the movies, trying new restaurants, visiting our favorites, etc. Being able to pick up and go at any moment is awesome and very freeing. No more ’school nights’ for us. What also helps is knowing that I have spent several years preparing my son to be self sufficient, independent problem solver. There isn’t any thing you could present to me that I wouldn’t be able to see another angle and a way to maneuver around that obstacle. It comes naturally to me and I’d like to think Tyler has picked that up. Knowing that he is going to the school that was his first choice and loving it is a huge relief. Oh did I mention he made the national honors society? Yep, that’s my boy.
Having a child going to an out of state school can be nerve wracking. Especially when your a very control freak mom. It’s because Tyler is a smart young man with a sensible head that I am able to really let go and allow him to be.
Thank you my dear son for bringing peace into my world. Everyday you make me more proud than I thought possible! My nest overfloweth!
No empty nest here
Posted on 20 November 2010 | 1 response
My son has been at college for about two months now. I imagined myself having deep painful heartache leading up to September. I couldn’t imagine not seeing his handsome face or fun spirit everyday. I must say it’s all okay. Life is good. He loves school (of course he does he’s also with his girlfriend). He is enjoying is new found freedom and independence. Every moment of his growing up has led to this. Sending him off on his own to fully become an independent man. Everything I have done with him I kept this fore front in my mind. Teaching him chores, doing his own laundry, dishes, vacuuming and even cleaning his bathroom. The worst thing a parent can do is coddle a child and do everything for them. We are teachers and must prepare our children for the game of life! I guess some of the comfort comes from knowing that he is very confident, strong and sharp and he is getting on just fine!
It’s a bit odd not having him here when I get home from work and having him kiss me when he goes to bed – yes, I go to bed before him. I have learned to let go of the fears and anxieties of him being on his own. There is nothing else I can do from afar to keep him safe. I have to trust and relax.
I actually don’t feel like I have the ‘empty nest syndrome.’ I can see how some moms could get empty nest syndrome. Probably the stay at home moms (which I am not). I am surrounded by love and support. I have an amazing husband that keeps my laughing. I spend time with my mom. I also workout, and blog. And coach…in addition to my full time job. Guess I haven’t left any time for empty nest to settle in. Being busy is key.
Only 9 days left
Posted on 7 September 2010 | No responses
….before my child flies the coop to spread his wings and take what he’s learned and live life. College life. Holy shit balls this is weird. He’s a mature, funny, smart and sharp kid. He’s got the skills to take care of his needs (laundry, cleaning up after himself, etc.). We’ve been grooming him for this next stage of life: independency…is that a word? Anywho..what I didn’t realize until 9 days before he is due to leave is that I will have a new worry about him. Safety. He will be two states away. He’s always had to check in with me when he leaves the house and gets to his destination. If he leaves there and goes elsewhere, etc. Ever since he got his driver’s license this intensified. Were city peeps – it’s a fast pace out here. And with distractions all around….if I go to bed before he is home he HAS to come see me when he gets home so I know he is safe. No matter what time it is. A mother cannot truly rest if her child is out. Tyler is not a trouble maker type kid, and trouble doesn’t find him either. A friend reminded me of this and eased my worries…a LITTLE. The power of just jumping in the car to rescue him is no longer an option. He’ll be oh about 1,000 miles away. One of the life’s worries from a mother’s perspective. How does these woman deal? I guess I could find a really good Merlot….ho hum.
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